Why I became a stay at home wife

 Good evening my wonderful friends.

I felt like this would be a good topic to write on tonight. 

Why I became a stay at home wife.

Now from experience... when I say I'm a stay at home wife, I usually get one of two responses.

    Oh man, that must be wonderful not having to do anything all day.

    or

    Don't you ever get bored? I couldn't sit home all day like that.

    Back tracking a little, when I was younger I had many aspirations of having a career. I wanted to be a doctor, or a lawyer...heck I even wanted to be a dolphin trainer at some point (after a trip to the aquarium of course lol). But one thing that I always ended up falling back on was that I wanted to be a stay at home wife/mom. When I was growing up my mom was a stay at home mom for a lot of my life..she worked at Zales for a little, but then started her own cleaning company and was home much more again. I watched her clean the house every day, make us multiple meals throughout the day, and just in general be there for us whenever we needed her. It's something that I had always admired growing up, and something that I wanted to do for my family. 

    While some people dreamed of making a career, I dreamed of making a home. 

    I remember folding laundry before I was married and literally couldn't wait to be able to do my husband's laundry. It sounds silly, but it's just what I wanted. I wanted to do as my mom did.. to serve my household. To make sure that my husband was able to come home to a clean house and yummy food and to be able to relax. If you have ever heard of love languages, I suppose this is one of mine.

    I want to put this in here before going any further. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have a career, obviously. I don't want people thinking that I am all for "women need to stay at home, while men make the money." I don't agree with that at all. I think certain lifestyles are for certain people, and this is the lifestyle that my husband and I chose. If you want to be a nurse, a doctor, a lawyer, a whatever you wanna do... heck yeah I'm all about it! Go you! I'm honestly so proud of you.. MAKE THAT MONEY! Lol.

    I had always done very well in school when I was younger, I think I had like a GPA of 4.8 or something like that?? I don't even remember anymore lol. I had always enjoyed school work and learning new things. Then I went to college and oh my gosh was it awful. I literally only went for a semester and I absolutely hated everything about it. I struggled for a little while to accept the fact that maybe I just wasn't cut out for college...and that's okay! My mom has always told me I marched to the beat of a different drum, lol.  Not everyone is made to do the same thing, that's the beauty of people. We are all different! 

    I had worked with my mom for about a year before I applied to become a bather at a large corporate store (I don't know if I want to put the name of it in here or not?) And that's when it all started... 7 years later and I was a groomer, absolutely miserable. I loved the actual job, but it was just too much stress. 

    As I had mentioned in my previous post, I struggle with anxiety and depression. Working a full time job (a very stressful one at that) tended to make it even worse. At one point it was stressing me out so bad that I had panic attacks almost nightly for weeks. I would get really bad tunnel vision/borderline blacking out and feel like I couldn't breathe and the only thing that would make it better was sitting in between Josh's legs while he did breathing exercises with me...it was horrible. I couldn't sleep, but when I got to sleep I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I would cry going to work, cry when I got out of work, cry thinking about how I would have to do it all over again the next day and the next day, and the day after that. I felt so stuck and like the cycle would never end. I feel like I sound dramatic, but when I say I was miserable, I mean I was really miserable.

     I couldn't be the wife I wanted to be...I couldn't be the person I wanted to be while also holding down a full time job. I felt like I was just the shell of who I used to be. People who can balance work and home life are incredible to me... like I said this is just my personal life experience and how I handle life. My husband and I had plans of me becoming a stay at home wife for a couple of years, it was kind of always our goal. He grew up in a household where his mom was also a stay at home mom so it was just what we were raised around and it just seemed to be right for us.

    I'm not sure if I have put this in a video or anything, but my husband and I are Christians. This is important to note because we turn to God for most things in life... so I'm sure this won't be the last time I mention God in a blog. When I tell you I prayed almost every day that I could leave my job...I mean every. single. day. I felt like it was literally sucking the soul out of me. The beginning of this year I had a complete breakdown at work and Josh and I knew something had to change. I lowered the amount of dogs a day I was doing, which helped but only for a little. So when Covid hit this year and I was furloughed off of work, we realized even more that this is how we are supposed to be living. Things ran so much more smoothly when I was home like that...so we prayed. And we were shown that I could in fact be a stay at home wife, so I quit my job. It was one of the best decisions we've ever made. 

    That brings me back to the responses from earlier. A common misconception is that stay at home wives do nothing all day. That couldn't be more wrong. Do I have days where I do nothing...absolutely! But I had those kinds of days even when I was working a full time job. Do I have more time on my hands? Yes! But! I am able to use that time more productively now. When I was working, things around the house took me FOREVER to get done. I dreaded doing them. Now I wake up and clean half the house as my morning routine and I'm not even fazed by it. I am also able to do a couple side jobs with my mom and help her out...which is something I really wanted to do since my mom now works a full time job and my dad is gone most the day with his landscaping company. I'm able to make our house feel like a home..like a sactuary that we can step into and block out the world. 

    I honestly feel like I do way more now then I did when I was working. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning the house, cooking, doing laundry, fixing this, fixing that. I'm able to focus on my health more now and I have the time to workout and cook healthier meals for Josh and I. I have the time to have a puppy and train him properly. I have the time to go over to my parents house and help my mom clean her house and actually spend time with her instead of being too tired to even leave the couch like I was when I was working. I can go places and do things more freely. I spend way more time with my husband...with my family. The list literally goes on and on... 

    I am home most of the time..but I've always been a homebody. So no.. I don't get tired of being home lol. I prefer it in fact! I hate going out lol. But like I said, I feel like I'm going places and doing more things now so I'm not cooped up inside 24/7 like some people would think. I don't get bored either. I am a pretty creative person, and I feel like I'm finally able to be creative again. (Hence this blog and my YouTube channel). Also, I've been asked before if I run out of things to clean and no.. I don't run out of things to clean! My house gets messy very quickly, so there's always something to clean! 

    It's so funny to me looking back after we decided that we were going to go this direction in life, I was so scared. I don't even really know why? Probably just because it was a big change in our lives. I texted my mom asking her what I'm supposed to do every day lol. I even looked up other blogs on Pinterest. Once I got into the groove of things, I figured it all out. Don't be afraid to take that first step. Change can be really scary, but sometimes it's necessary to move forward in life. 

    I am so grateful for the opportunity to even be able to stay home. I know there are so many people in the world who don't have the opportunity. God has blessed our life tremendously and I am forever grateful. 

    If you made it this far in the blog, wow! You must really like me, lol! I filmed a YouTube video today, Dante's Spa Day. I have to edit it still, but it should be up sometime this week. I also started a new fitness challenge today! I'm going to be doing Chloe Ting's Get Peachy Challenge. I'm going to be doing updates on Instagram daily, so if you're interested in that feel free to follow me by clicking here!

I do also have a Twitter ( click here ) , I'm not on there as much but I do post things sometimes. 

Thank you so much for reading my blog and for being a part of my life! I'm so grateful for every one of you!

    Until next blog...!

    

Here's a cute picture of Dante just because ...